blerp

http://xkcd.com/1692/

Brainstorming

|flag |desc| |-----|----| | -a | forkbomb (opposite day ???) | -b | remove all b characters (opposite day replaces b chars with 🐝) | -— | flags use em dashes (opposite day means flags use U+00B7 · ) | -c | count number of arguments (opposite day *-1) | -d | pipe output to "debug.exe" | -D | "deprecated" (opposite day requires passing -D) | -e | execute "something" in the current shell (opposite day executes "nothing") | -f | dunno ??? | -g | use google to search for the query (opposite day uses bing) | -h | check whether input halts | -i | ignore lower case flags (except this) (opposite day ignores upper) | -I | ignore upper case flags (except this) (opposite day ignores lower) | -jk| previous arg does nothing (opposite day makes previous arg actually do something) | -n | segfault (opposite day exit code 0) | -o | overwrite self binary with output (opposite day underwrites self) | -O | all flags do nothing unless suffixed with -jk (flags have their own special behavior on opposite day) | -p | sets true pope (ROME or AVIGNON) (opposite day chooses the other) | -q | quiet mode (rather than being spoken aloud) (opposite day shouts louder [-a 200 with espeak]) | -r | randomize args (random) (opposite day ???) | -R | recursive find on inputs starting with http:// (opposite day ???) | -S | fork to background with process title "systemd" (opposite day is bells everywhere) | -t | randomly flip characters to unicode variants (opposite day neatly folds all characters) | -u | UTF-8 mode (default is ANSEL) (opposite day is ASCII) | -U | update FACEBOOK (opposite updates G+) | -v | verbose only ever outputs "find: missing argument to '-exec'" (opposite day ???) | -V | sets blerp version (supported feature set) (opposite day prints version) | -y | yikes